these words consume her but they never set her free... [entries|friends|calendar] sunshine [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

another step in my life [December 14, 2006 | 06:23 AM] I got into college! "Dear Sabnum: Congratulations! I am pleased to offer you admission as a freshman into the Doctor of Pharmacy program at the Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences for the 2007-2008 academic year..."

[November 15, 2006 | 07:04 AM] this one is a repeat BUT it says so much for right now: i am: mentally exhausted, emotionally exhausted, exasperated, disappointed(!), a little worried, a little hopeful, appreciative, and pretty damn tired of being the one who does all of the loving and missing in half of my relationships. but mostly, i'm all right. i am so excited for friday. a day off, supposedly to do the discrete math competition, but instead will be spent with my best friends.

[November 12, 2006 | 11:36 AM] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | habib -- din gelo ] i'm sitting here eating an apple and making a live journal post. basically, i'm awesome. did nothing today since my dad is gay, as usual. tomorrow, hopefully will be a sisters day since it is my sisters first weekend off in what seems like forever. regardless of that, i made another compromise and applied to mass. college of pharmacy early action. yes, i guess i want to be a pharmacist, but it's just another compromise i've made with my dad. but just the whole applying to college process is nervewrecking on its own. it's basically just like handing the past 4 years of my life over to a group of strangers so they can judge me. my essay topic was a narrow subject given to me by the college so no room to put myself out there really. but that's over and done with. now, i have to worry about the rest of the applications and i have yet to choose a topic for the common application essay. awesome. basically, i'm screwed. this is just frustrating when its put together with everything else going on lately. i'd rather not talk about it. life is being very unpredictable right now. there are a lot of shitty things going on. some good things. a lot of changes. we'll play it by ear.

[November 06, 2006 | 03:34 AM] hey, maybe i should start using this thing again. maybe i will but only once after i find some things to say since there is so much going on.

[April 30, 2006 | 09:52 PM] sooo june 27th, how about that? hello bangladesh.... & reunion with mom

the world still spins [February 25, 2006 | 09:19 AM] [ music | Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's ] my appetite is just too big. my mind is too damn stubborn. i assigned myself a role: just to pass the time. the world still spins. and the lovers are still winning, and i am stuck in the same old postiton. listening to my ego, ignoring my conscience.

THE PRACTICE OF REMINISCING [January 29, 2006 | 04:21 PM] tonight was absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, unleashed. i loved every second of it. --- THE PRACTICE OF REMINISCING "we learn to push our past aside, and live each day from the knowledge we've consumed from it... i think i find a sanctuary.. in the bottom of my brain, where i conceal myself and fill my own voids. i take shelter untill i find myself, and then emerge for fresh air. i'll say i'm sick of this. though i am not at all. it's almost comforting after these long months. " whatever, you know? ps: i am so sick of highschool and everything that comes with it. i can't wait for the real world, and having my own responsibilities. i cant wait to live without supremacy of my parents. i am excited for what life has to bring me, and my patience is getting smaller and smaller for it. pps: soon, i am taking a train to.. somewhere, and taking nothing with me but a book, a camera, maybe my cell phone, and my brain. i am out to search for a new beginning, and to search even further into the depths of my brain, to understand what i know and to see what i will find. ( MEET THE BAND )

silence [December 10, 2005 | 10:32 PM] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | seasons of love - rent soundtrack ] hand over my mouth,  i'm earning the right to my silence. i want to feel safe. i want to feel alive again. i want to have a firm reliance on something. or someone for godsake. i'm not asking much, am i?? ---- but here's to snow, sleet, rain, thunder and hail today and being one of four or five towns that had school today. it was ridiculous. and here's to coming home to some ridiculous comfort food which makes you missing your real home even more than you already do. here's to feeling to cold, refreshing winter air. here's to being sore, the best feeling in the world. here's to ridiculously fun trigonometry, believe it or not. here's to hoping i did well on that test on it. here's to enjoying any form of mathematics this year. here's to learning more about adobe in photo than i thought possible. here's to being a nerd and a bear. i sleep with 6+ layers... including socks, a scarf, fleece blankets and sweaters, a thicker blanket, long sleeve shirts, and tshirts. i'm ridiculous. here's to lost of sleep. here's to the last day with christian and kyle last sunday. everyone should strive to be like them... perfection. seriously, it's ridiculous. here's to being in the midst of choas, apathetic, conflicted, and questioning everyone around you. and that's ridiculous too because it goes against everything i stand for. F!%K! clearly, i'm fond of the word ridiculous. no, i will not stop using it. and as you can see i am going crazy.

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